Yesterday, Michael Medved read from a Canadian news article which mocked George W. Bush for a "roses are red, violets are blue" poem he wrote to the First Lady while she was traveling in Europe without him. W's poem to Laura was corny, unpretentious and sweet. The kind of rhyming that sets elitist eyes rolling, but which most wives would love to receive from their husband. The article quoted a University Professor, who acerbically assured the reader that Bush would not be receiving a Pulitzer Prize for Poetry.
The previous occupant of the Oval Office was very much the favorite of our cultural elites, so I began wondering what kind of poems he may have sent to his wife. I did some asking among anonymous sources close to the Clintons, and obtained a super-secret copy of one of Bill's recent poems to Hillary. I share it with you on condition that you do not weep while reading it.
Roses are red, violets are blue
if you throw one more ashtray at me I may sue!
don't wait dinner for me, I won't be home yet,
I'm stopping for Big Macs with a bimbo I met.
If you hop on your broomstick and run in `08
I'm quite sure we'll get back through that 16 Penn gate,
then like a fox in the hen-house I'll be on the prowl
`cause you'll be too darn busy to flash me your scowl.
We'll need damage control for each Bubba-esque stunt
'cause you bet as First Stud I'll be back on The Hunt,
oh, but being in charge you'll have so much distraction
that you can't interfere with my intern-ing action.
Late night TV comedians may miss the dysfunctional Clintons, but I am happy and relieved to have a conventional, loving married couple in the White House again, even at the risk of offending Canadian Professors of Poetic Studies.
Copyright 2003 by Larry Naselli