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LarryNaselli.com
Friday, July 30, 2004
Biggest Yet

The Democrat Convention featured John Kerry's most astonishing flip-flop yet. Until now, a positively notorious opponent and critic of the Vietnam War as an unjust and unneccessary use of American military power, Kerry proclaimed to the assembled delegates, "I defended this country as a young man and I will defend it as President."

STOP THE PRESSES!!! Are the American People to understand that Kerry now views the Vietnam War as a war to defend the United States of America? This is a breathtaking turnabout. If Kerry means what he said in his acceptance speech, the Country should soon be treated to the Candidate's apology for anti-war activities which opposed and maligned a war to defend of America.

As usual, the catch is: "if Kerry means what he says."

Posted by larry_naselli at 9:21 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, August 3, 2004 5:01 PM CDT
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Monday, July 26, 2004
Uncurious and Unserious

Sandy Berger, who served as National Security Adviser under President Clinton, is under criminal investigation for stealing classified documents associated with the 9/11 Commission Inquiry. Berger removed the classified documents (some of which he subsequently disposed of) from the National Archives, by stuffing them into his socks and trousers.

This is surely one of the most curious incidents of pilfering since Nixon campaign operatives broke into Democrat National Committee Headquarters in 1972, and it seems obvious to wonder whether Berger may have stolen any documents, the absence of which may have compromised the quality of the Commission's conclusions. Notwithstanding, Media bigshots like Dan Rather, and Democrat Party leaders like Tom Daschle and Terry MacAuliff, have expressed interest only in the "timing" of the revelation, and their minions have dutifully echoed that chorus.

A generous interpretation of the Democrats' and the Liberal Media's lack of curiousity about what Berger was filching, why he was filching it, or even the "timing" of his kleptomania, is that they don't believe in the importance of the 9/11 Commission to averting future attacks. To allow as much would be to admit that the Commission was formed to make partisan hay in an election year. If, on the other hand, they do believe the Commission's work is vital to defending America from terrorist attacks, the Democrats' and the Liberal Media's uncurious attitude toward Sandy Berger's antics reveals how unserious they are about winning the War on Terrorism.

Posted by larry_naselli at 8:49 AM CDT
Updated: Monday, August 2, 2004 8:31 AM CDT
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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
OK Then, Let's Really Be Safe

The State of New York has taken the lead in banning the use of deadly hand-held cell phones while operating a motor vehicle, and we should all applaud this humane and foresighted effort to make our roadways safe for the children.

Disdaining reactionary warnings about a domineering, paternalistic government extending its coercive grasp into every detail of American's lives, many fellow Americans with whom I've spoken approve of this compassionate government action.

Their perspective is noble and progressive, fitting for enlightened 21st century citizens, who prize safety and security above all other petty, parochial and archaic considerations, such as limited government, individual liberty and personal responsibility.

My only rebuke to my saftey-conscious countrymen is that most lack the courage of their convictions. If we are going to make our roadways truly safe, we must attack the root causes of unsafe roadways, and eradicate all distracted driving hazards, not just the popular cause of the pernicious hand-held cell phone.

I urge you my friends, if you support the action of the State of New York to outlaw hand-held cell phones while driving, that you contact your State Representative, State Senator and Governor, to demand a ban on every other driving distraction that imperils the health and safety -- yes, even the lives of our children.

To help you get started on this worthy crusade, below I've provided a litany of distracted driving hazards (DDH's). I trust that you will be able to add to this list; and let us not rest, until we have once and for all made our roadways safe again.

If we're going to be safe on the road, let's really be safe: let's ban all distractions while driving, namely:

Hand-held cell phones
Hands-free cell phones
Car Stereos
Car Radios
(especially those playing Right Wing Talk Radio)
Roadside Billboard Ads
Children in the back seat
(sorry, you'll just have to seat them up front, where they may be decapitated by your Federally-mandated Air Bag bomb, but if we're going to have safety, sacrifices must be made)
Eating and Drinking (of course, we must also close the Fast-Food Drive-Thru Loophole)
Talking
Thinking
Daydreaming
Praying


And finally, the leading cause of distracted driving by that most at-risk group: young adult males . . .
Pretty Girls Walking


Posted by larry_naselli at 8:50 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, August 3, 2004 5:02 PM CDT
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Wednesday, July 7, 2004
There They Go Again

Well, there they go again. Senator Elizabeth Dole accuses John Kerry of another "flip-flop" because during the Democrat Primary he berated John Edwards for his woeful lack of experience.

This charge is simply not fair. Kerry made those remarks almost six months ago! Edwards has a lot more experience now, and just think how much more experience he'll have by Inauguration day in January 2005.



Posted by larry_naselli at 11:06 AM CDT
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Contingency Fee

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that John Edwards agreed to run for VP only after John Kerry agreed that if he wins the election Edwards will receive 1/3 of the Presidential salary.

Posted by larry_naselli at 9:21 AM CDT
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Tuesday, July 6, 2004
Malpractice Suit?

What is the REAL reason that John Kerry is cozying up to John Edwards? Could it be that Kerry is planning to sue his Botox Doctor, and needs to retain a first-rate ambulance chaser?


Posted by larry_naselli at 2:10 PM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, July 6, 2004 4:55 PM CDT
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John Kerry, Yawnmeister

Since John Edwards shaped up as the conventional wisdom choice for John Kerry's Running Mate, the consummately colorless Kerry chose him, even though Edwards is -- to put it generously -- not a proven vote-getter.

When George H.W. Bush picked Dan Quayle, a wealthy, handsome young one-term Senator as his VP, it was a bold and surprising stroke - a bold and surprising stroke that backfired when the opposition piled on, and Quayle proved to be not ready for prime time. The originality of choosing a wealthy, handsome young one-term Senator having been expended fifteen years since, Kerry's choice of Edwards was a pedestrian action that comports perfectly with the candidate's own yawn-inducing style.

Now this all presents the delicious opportunity for Dick Cheney, son of blue-collar parents, a thoroughly self-made, pulled-himself-up-by-his-own-bootstraps man to answer Edwards exaggerated rags-to-riches vamp with something like, "Young man, I knew Horatio Alger. Horatio Alger was a friend of mine, and you're no Horatio Alger."

Posted by larry_naselli at 10:27 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, July 7, 2004 8:35 AM CDT
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Monday, July 5, 2004
Saddam Tortured?

Saddam Hussein's lawyer* claims that the deposed dictator was tortured while in U.S. Custody. Saddam tortured? Heads should roll at U.S. Military intelligence if he wasn't!



*When I hear the phrase "Saddam Hussein's lawyer" I can't help but think of that old joke about lawyers and laboratory rats.

Posted by larry_naselli at 10:42 AM CDT
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Prediction

I predict that this August at the Democratic National Convention in Boston, the favorite campaign slogan among Delegates will be: "JOHN KERRY: ALL THE LIBERALISM OF TED KENNEDY, WITH ONLY A FRACTION OF THE ALCOHOL"

Posted by larry_naselli at 10:33 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, July 7, 2004 10:28 AM CDT
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Friday, July 2, 2004
Jersey Girls MIA

A few months ago, when President Bush's re-election campaign included a fleeting image of Ground Zero in a TV ad promoting the President's "steady leadership in times of change," the news was dominated by the rapid-response outrage of a small group of women identified merely as "widows of 9/11 victims'" supposedly livid that images of 9/11 were being "exploited for political purposes."

Well, it turns out that these 9/11 widows, known as The Jersey Girls (who, upon closer examination, proved to also be talking point-spouting Democrat Party activists, neck-deep in Leftwing political causes), are not equal opportunity complainers. As Michael Moore's "Farenheit 911" sets box office records for a documentary, focusing extensively on the attacks at the World Trade Center for the rather transparent political purpose of defeating George W. Bush in the November election, the previously hyper-sensitive Jersey Girls are oddly silent about exploitation of the images of 9/11 for political purposes.

Posted by larry_naselli at 3:09 PM CDT
Updated: Friday, July 2, 2004 4:50 PM CDT
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Thursday, July 1, 2004
Big Tent?

I never realized how much Al Gore and Saddam Hussein have in common, beyond the cosmetic similarities of both recently having lost weight and re-groomed their facial hair, Gore and Saddam are also on the same page in their public pronouncements, e.g. "President Bush is a criminal." "I am the legitimate President."

The main difference between them is that Saddam makes his statements with immeasurably greater composure than Gore.



Posted by larry_naselli at 1:14 PM CDT
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A Little Friendly Advice

Matt Drudge reports that Hillary Rodham Clinton will be picked as Kerry's VP.

The DRUDGE REPORT: "All the signs point in [Hillary's] direction," said a top Washington insider, one of the most influential and well-placed in the nation's capital. "It is the solution to every Kerry problem."

Well, maybe every current Kerry problem; but, my advice to a President Kerry with Hillary Clinton "a heartbeat away from the Oval Office," would be this: hire a food taster.


Posted by larry_naselli at 9:00 AM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, July 6, 2004 5:09 PM CDT
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Heart's Desire

To come to Abba as a son
and boast of Him to everyone
to see myself, and others too
through Jesus' blood with vision true

To overcome the fear of failure
and have a passion for my Savior
to show my love so shamelessly
and talk to Him with honesty

To obey the words He daily gives me
and know that He is always with me
as my only source of power and direction
to let me see the rejects with pity and affection

I long for Jesus to express Himself
to the World and His Flock through me,
that I might daily experience His Love and Grace
and use the gifts He's put in me.

To fulfill the dreams that came from Him
and reach His heart each time I pray
to be so very full of Him
that I have enough Jesus to give away.



Copyright 2003 by Larry Naselli

Posted by larry_naselli at 8:34 AM CDT
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Monday, June 28, 2004
Tribune Goes Fishing

The Chicago Tribune has succeeded in driving Jack Ryan out of the U.S. Senate race in Illinois, through an incredibly intrusive lawsuit demanding that the records of Jack and Jeri Ryan's divorce proceedings be made public. This may not be such bad political news for Illinois Republicans, since Ryan was trailing his opponent almost-hopelessly in the polls, but it is an awful destruction of a man's reputation, and has placed an utterly unneccessary burden on the Ryan's young son.

The Judge's decision was capricious, based on no legitimate election law, and the suit itself was not based on any accusation of wrongdoing against Jack Ryan, but on the entirely irrelevant fact that a candidate for the Democrat Party's nomination, Blair Hull, had some bad things from his divorce records come to light during the Primary and one or two of Ryan's Republican opponents clamoured for the release of Ryan's divorce records as well.

The Tribune's lawsuit was purely a "fishing expedition," and sure enough, they hauled in something sufficiently embarrassing to make any Democrat a folk-hero to his Party, or to force any Republican to withdraw his candidacy in disgrace.

Most adults understand that a custody battle in a divorce proceeding is a very unsavory event, in which one spouse tries to make the other spouse out to be an utterly unfit parent, by claiming the most awful faults and misdeeds they can recall or fabricate, and with the assistance of counsel, framing these failings in the most sinister sounding terms. Taking the filings in a typical custody battle at face value, you would conclude that the man was Jack The Ripper, and the woman was Jezebel.

Consider then, that the worst possible thing that can be said against Jack Ryan (and mind you, Ryan disputed the charge then, and disputes it now) is that some years ago he brought his own wife to some so-called "sex clubs," and once asked her to have sex with him in that club (where it was accepted practice), while other people were present. When Ryan's wife refused, he did not force her against her will, did not smear her to the press, did not bite her lips and tell her to "put some ice on that;" besides which Ryan's wife -- who, by the way, did not want the divorce records made public either -- now says of him that he is a fine man.

While what Jack Ryan is said to have done is not, shall we say, "mainstream" behavior, how many of us would wish that the worst that could be said about us, by those who know us best, was no worse than that?

It is predictable now, that about the first of November the Chicago Tribune will run the obligatory high-toned plaintive editorial, decrying the lack of good candidates to choose from, because capable people are unwilling to run for Public Office. Now, why might that be?

Posted by larry_naselli at 9:15 AM CDT
Updated: Monday, June 28, 2004 4:59 PM CDT
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Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Mental Illness

As Clinton is in the news again, I'm hearing lots of Liberal Democrats complaining that Clinton was impeached for having sex with Monica Lewinsky. Liberals seem to be incapable of grasping the simple objective point that Bill Clinton was impeached for lying under oath in a federal court and obstructing justice, not for committing adultery. This reminded me that Liberalism is less of a political philosophy than it is a form of mental illness.

For instance, Liberals seem to have the same cognitive incapacity:
a. with the fact that President Bush has never drawn a connection between Iraq and 9/11
b. with numerous re-counts (including those conducted by Liberal newspapers) of the Florida votes
c. with the fact that our Constitution provides for the States to elect Presidents through the electoral college not the popular vote
d. with the fact that British Intelligence did tell us that Saddam attempted to purchase enriched uranium in Africa, just as President Bush said in his 2003 State of the Union Address
e. with the objectively verifiable fact that federal tax revenues increased dramatically following the Reagan tax cuts
f. with the fact that the Bush tax cuts can not possibly have caused increases in federal budget deficits, prior to their enactment

Well, you get the idea. This goes beyond ignorance, beyond stupidy, beyond myopia . . . what else can we conclude, besides that Liberalism causes brain damage.




Posted by larry_naselli at 5:11 PM CDT
Updated: Tuesday, June 22, 2004 5:12 PM CDT
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Friday, June 18, 2004
Dem talking points are a poor substitute for facts

The Media echo-chamber resounds with reports that the 9/11 Commission has refuted Bush Administration claims of an Iraq - 9/11 link; this despite the fact that the Public Record objectively shows that neither President Bush, nor any member of his administration, has ever made such a claim. One is therefore left to wonder whether the American News Media is disingenuous, or merely incompetent.

George W. Bush, like his predecessor Bill Clinton, has rightly linked Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda and to other terrorists, such as Abu Nidal, al-Zarqawi and Hezbollah; but over the past two years President Bush has repeatedly said that the U.S. has no intelligence tying Iraq to the 9/11 attacks. Among all the news reporting about the 9/11 Commission's report there is not a single quote from the President or any Executive Branch official claiming Iraqi involvement in 9/11, because no such quote exists.

Iraqi involvement in 9/11 was never part of the Bush Administration's case for regime change in Iraq (remember how Liberals wrung their hands about our "unprecedented" pre-emptive war?) President Bush was very clear that the war was necessary to prevent Saddam from providing WMD's to terrorists.

The idea of an Iraq - 9/11 connection - like the "imminent threat" mantra -- began as and remains a red herring, fabricated by Bush's domestic political opponents. I suppose we might expect as much from a Party embittered by the rejection of the electorate; but professional journalists ought to report facts, not the fevered talking points of political partisans.

Posted by larry_naselli at 11:09 AM CDT
Updated: Monday, June 21, 2004 5:29 PM CDT
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Of Stem Cells and Prisoners

It is strikingly incongruous that Liberals demand the destruction of embryonic human children, in hopes of extracting a cure for Alzheimer's Disease, yet they can't stomach the thought of a few Jihadists being roughed up, in hopes of extracting vital military intelligence in the War on Terrorism.



Posted by larry_naselli at 11:07 AM CDT
Updated: Monday, June 21, 2004 5:24 PM CDT
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Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Troy could spark outbreak of "Tony Manero Syndrome"

If the Motion Picture Academy has an award for Best Missed Opportunity, Troy is surely the frontrunner to win it. As an entertainment experience Troy was worth the $15.00 I paid for my wife and I to see it; but, given such an epic subject, the producers fell woefully short of the potential to make a great film.

Visually and technically this is a fairly engaging film, but it suffers from terminal bad-casting in the lead role. I'm told by my more pop-culturally informed co-workers that Brad Pitt, who plays Achilles, is a big time box office draw for females, but I don't think I've seen a more annoying actor on screen since - well, since Pee-Wee Herman. Perhaps this was the Director's intent, but as the movie proceeded, I sensed a growing anticipation of the happy moment at which Achilles would finally be put out of my misery. It's a bad sign for any serious movie if members of the audience are rooting for the hero's death.

While I can't imagine that any tears were shed in theaters over the death of Brad Pitt's Achilles, it is entirely likely that this movie will produce another outbreak of "Tony Manero Syndrome." In the late 1970's when the movie Saturday Night Fever became a cultural phenomenon, millions of young males tried to emulate John Travolta's disco-dancing character, Tony Manero. Why was that a problem? Because the character, Tony Manero, was - by the movie's own terms - a total jerk. If Brad Pitt is indeed the "chick magnet" that my co-workers assure me he is, we may be facing a deluge of young males embracing the pouting, whining, self-centeredness, lawlessness and capricious violence of Troy's Achilles -- as if we were suffering from a shortage of total jerks - and we may even see young men shaving all their bodily hair from the shoulders downward. Yes, Troy has the potential to strike a worse blow to responsible masculinity than Saturday Night Fever ever did - and that's saying something.

My best hope for Troy is that it will earn enough money at the box office to finance a high-quality production of Homer's Odessey, starring Sean Bean, who is thoroughly likeable as the persuasive and almost-earnest intermediary between King Agememnon and Achilles. He may be getting a little old for the kind of acrobatic battle sequences that Brad Pitt's Achilles performs, but at least Bean would have a positive influence on the manliness of the young males in the audience, and I wouldn't find myself missing John Wayne as desperately as I did while watching Brad Pitt's juvenile strutting in Troy.


Posted by larry_naselli at 4:24 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, June 17, 2004 11:25 AM CDT
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Justice For Bonzo

"Bedtime for Bonzo" is routinely used as a byword to indicate a humiliating chapter in Ronald Reagan's cinematic career. It's an unfair rap. "Bonzo" may not be "Gone With The Wind," but it's a fun movie, well produced, and ten times better than most of the product Hollywood currently vomits on the movie-going public. My kids love "Bedtime for Bonzo," and I don't have to stand by with the Pause button ready to edit out foul language. In fact, the only thing I have to worry about is my teenaged daughters swooning over a heart-stoppingly handsome Ronald Reagan.

Posted by larry_naselli at 11:47 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, June 16, 2004 11:50 AM CDT
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Monday, June 14, 2004
Platform Changes Show Democrat Sincerity [PARODY]

On Saturday, John Kerry called for expanded acquisition of stem-cells from human embryos, as a means to advance research for a cure of Alzheimer's Disease. Some cynics have accused Kerry and the Democrats of exploiting Nancy Reagan's grief and loss to drive a wedge between the Bush Administration, which favors research only on existing stem-cell lines, and the millions of Americans mourning the death of the former President, who may sympathize with Mrs. Reagan's support for more stem-cell research. But, proving partisan critics wrong, Democrats have demonstrated the sincerity of their call to honor Nancy Reagan and the memory of President Ronald Reagan by obtaining from Mrs. Reagan a list of policy prescriptions on a broad range of issues, which Democrats plan to adopt into their 2004 Party Platform.

According to DNC Chairman, Terry MacAuliff, the Democrat Party has so far embraced deep across-the-board cuts in marginal income tax rates, eliminating the corporate income tax, a military buildup, including increased funding for missile defense, the elimination of the Departments of Education and Energy, and an aggressive foreign and military policy aimed at bringing America's mortal enemies to their knees.

There is, however, still minor disagreement among Party Leaders about the best way to explain to core Democrat constituencies the planned adoption of a Platform Plank condemning abortion as the immoral killing of unborn human beings. "Sure there are still a few wrinkles to iron out," said MacAuliff, "but the Democrat Party is committed to honoring Mrs. Reagan and the memory of former President Reagan, and we are certainly not about to restrict that honor to issues that could serve as a political wedge against our esteemed opposition."

MacAuliff went on to explain to reporters that Democrats want the American People to know that Kerry's conjuring of Mrs. Reagan on behalf of stem-cell policy was not an act of transparent political opportunism, as some critics have charged. "John Kerry is as sincere as the day is long," MacAuliff said, "when it comes to honoring the Reagans. And we're not going to stand by while the Republican Attack Machine trashes our candidate." The Republican Attack Machine could not be reached for comment.

Posted by larry_naselli at 10:10 AM CDT
Updated: Wednesday, June 30, 2004 10:22 AM CDT
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